Small Company

Dear Bel:
I am an employee at a small company called SmartTec. We are being plagued by a series of accidents. It all started when my new friend Melissa fell off the sidewalk near the smoking area and broke her wrist. I think I might be next. What can I do?
-Tom

Dear Tom,
It’s obvious that your new friend is cursed and that it has begun to effect you all. Pray.
-Bel

Dear Bel:
Two weeks ago, I walked in on my 17-year-old daughter having sex with her boyfriend, “Bob.” He claims that he will be 18 in two months but it is obvious that he is 30 something. I knew it would be pointless to lecture them… I took my daughter to the gynecologist and had her put on birth control pills. I also discussed with her the importance of safe and responsible sex, especially when it’s with a strange man.
My daughter was grateful that I was not judgmental or angry. Here’s the problem. I afraid of Bob. He frequently speaks to himself about the virtues of vitamin C and E. I am convinced if my daughter knew how old he was, she would stop seeing him. I am having a very difficult time keeping my mouth shut. Should I tell her that she is having sex with a thirty year old man? I would appreciate your input.
– Against It

Dear Against:
The answer is a solid, unequivocal NO. Under no circumstances should you tell your daughter what you know about Bob. It would not help the situation. In fact, it might make things worse. This is not your story to tell. It’s mine.

I’ll talk to Bob.
-Bel

More Psycho Sermons

Saint Garion

Bel Garion, who also goes by the name Saint Garion started writing columns in our early years and continued to 2006. He often refers to "The Lord" and "Buddah" which are the names of his dogs which speak to him on a regular basis.

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