Dear Bel:
Last year, I married “Eric,” a wonderful guy. I’m 24. He is 35. And we’re very much in love. Here’s the problem: Neither of us is financially stable right now, and we are struggling to pay our bills. I am working hard on my career and continue to progress. I hope to be reaping the benefits of my hard work in less than six years. Eric, on the other hand, does nothing to get ahead.
I have been supporting us for the past year, often working 18-hour days. When I come home, Eric and I share the housework and cooking. Eric, however, often sleeps late, skips work entirely, or visits his friends and “forgets” to come home. He has no ambition whatsoever.
I love the guy. We get along great and enjoy each other’s company. But I am losing respect for him because he is so lazy and unmotivated. Should I call it quits while I am still young and have no children, or should I stand by my man? Is he likely to change?
– Married
Dear Married:
You work 16-hour days while Joe sleeps late, visits friends and forgets to come home. You say you love the guy, you want to have a family and ask if he is likely to change. The answer is yes. He will change. If properly motivated. Give him oral sex every night for six weeks. I know your mother told you that you didn’t have to do that after marriage but you do, if you want your man to be happy. After 6 weeks, stop, tell him you won’t go down on him unless he gets and keeps a good job. Good LUCK! If this doesn’t work then at least you will have a marketable skill and Eric’s friends are bound to take your side. Hey one of them may just be Mr. Right!
– Bel
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