My name is Melissa and I’m back!!!
I was speaking to the doctor at the prison, and he told me that I had been in a coma for almost 2 weeks!! He also mentioned something about me turning stupid(er) due to the coma, but that’s doctor talk which is something I don’t understand!!
I read the last couple of my columns and saw that I was a complete loon a couple of weeks ago!!! I thought I was ugly? Please!!! Everyone knows that trailer park living go go dancers are the prettiest women on the face of the earth.
The best thing is that I now am the proud owner of a humongous breast. This is every dancer’s fantasy and I am halfway there!!!
Maybe that isn’t the best thing!!!
See, the doctor told me that since I had the humongous left breast and a normal right breast, that would classify me as a “freak” and I would be able to make lots of money off my “handicap”.
This doctor is going to make some calls and try to get me into one of those travelling freak shows where people pay big money to see people with abnormalities, like me!!
This is a dream come true for me because of the money plus I would get released from prison because my breast could be considered a lethal weapon that couldn’t be taken from me!!
Hopefully I’ll be coming to a city near you, so start saving your spare change!!!
See ya!!!
NEXT WEEK: My name is Melissa, and I am a freak!!
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