Even though I begged and begged, my agent advised me that I should not tell you about any tricks that I can do with my enormous breast since that would stop people from coming to the show and experiencing my boob live.
Kind of depressing, but my agent knows best!! I bet you’re asking how and why I now have an agent!!
Well, a single (almost!) gal like me needs someone to guide my career since I will be busy performing and getting to know my fans better, so I asked my cellmate if she wanted to help me with my career and she agreed!!
Sure, I’m known as her “bitch” around the jail and she does own me, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be business partners. Remember Ralph? It’s the same thing except were not married and she doesn’t drink. That might be because there is no liquor allowed in the prison, but it doesn’t matter. I did what I felt was the right thing to do.
I think with my agent, who likes to be called Spike, I can finally have a trustworthy person handling my money. As you know, I have had serious money problems in the past, but this is like a new life for me and I’m ready!!
I didn’t do too well with math in school and was confused when Spike told me that she was entitled to 95% of whatever I made since she was my agent. At first I thought this was a pretty big number and I’m good at knowing big numbers, but I was confused by the percentage part.
I asked other prisoners if this was a good deal and they all agreed that I would make a killing as part of the freak show. This made me feel much better because if you can’t trust others like you, then who can you trust?
Gotta go, my cell door has been opened so I can go to dinner!!!
See ya!!
NEXT WEEK: What do I do all day in prison?
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