I’m Going To Be Honest with You

The Future is one scary fucking place.

You shouldn’t even need me to tell you that.  Just take a good look around at everything that is going on here and now right there in front of you in The Present and then carry it all out to its logical conclusion.

Pretty frightening, huh?

In fact, it’s enough to make most people piss their pants.*

*Enough to make 99 & 44/100 % of people piss their pant in fact.  The testing was conducted by the Orphopeons, an alien race which considers humans as basically the cosmic equivalent of lab rats.  They abducted 45,000 human specimens for the experiment, exposed them to The Future, and then examined their breeches for any signs of urinary discharge.

It turned out that The Future had caused over 99 in 100 people to totally piss their pants.

That’s some pretty scary shit. 

And speaking of shit they didn’t even bother measuring how many of them had also lost control of their bowels.

More Spamrider Columns

A new Spamrider of the Apocalypse each Sunday, and beyond!

Spamrider

Spamrider of the Apocalypse is just some crazy dude who contacted us out of the blue one day claiming to be a time traveler who had discovered that he had already been publishing information on our website for years while he was visiting the future.  Neither me or Steve had ever heard of him before so we don’t know if he’s ACTUALLY crazy or what, but he’s definitely weird, and is probably full of crap, so we both just looked at each other, shrugged are shoulders, and pretty much just went with it.

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