Well, my first show was a complete bust!!! (no pun intended?)
I was allowed to perform in front of my fellow prisoners and the warden also bussed in some hardened male criminals from the nearby state penitentiary.
I was very excited about this because I couldn’t think of anyone else better to perform to. Imagine having your first show in front of hundreds of sex-starved criminal minded men!!! I can tell you that I was literally shaking because I was so excited!!!
The show started off fairly well with my dancing and shaking of my boob. However, the sound of escaping air from my boob caused some anger on the audience since the men wanted to see the real thing, not something that was air enhanced.
All hell broke loose when my boob started to sag and shrivel. When I took the tire pump from my pants, attached it to the valve stem and started pumping up the boob, the room (which doubled as the prison cafeteria) grew silent.
I figured that I now had the full attention of the audience. This was a good thing because this was just a trial show and I needed to remember what the people liked and disliked.
So, I continued to pump and my boob got bigger and bigger and then someone yelled out, “My God, it’s just a saggy breasted whore! This absolutely sucks!”
That hurt.
I stopped pumping as the tears streamed from my eyes. I guess there were a few inmates that actually liked my show because a fight broke out and I was pulled from the “stage” (which doubled as a table) and thrown back in my cell.
I didn’t get any sleep that night because the guards came around every half hour and beat me because I had been the cause of the worst prison riot in our state’s history. I accepted my punishment, since I had no choice and I was also feeling down on myself and figured I deserved a good beating.
But from the bad comes some good!! The next day the prison doctor told me that he had figured out it was to stretch my neck so that I would no longer have to use the tire pump to blow up my boob!!!
As soon as the wounds from my beating heal, I am going into surgery. I have no idea what the actual surgery is, but the doctor told me that I would probably survive and might even be able to live a halfway normal life most of the time!!!
I am almost ready to hit the big time and I hope you’ll come along for the ride!!
See ya!!
NEXT WEEK: My surgery.
Oh, yeah. We got that twitter/X thing.
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