Melissa has her second show!!!

You would think that a couple of pieces of duct tape would solve the problem I had with my first show, but it’s me were talking about duct tape is not good enough to solve my problems!!

Sure, the customers weren’t squirted in the face with my breast milk at the second show. This was a very good thing since I doubt I can afford to lose this job because, if I do, it’s back to jail for me!!!

I was very, very careful during my second show. I made sure the duct tape was attached firmly and even used some glue to make doubly sure.

What I didn’t realize is that liquid has the tendency to leak from even the smallest of holes. Of course, that’s what happened.

And of course this is something I didn’t notice until Weasel Boy went on stage to do his thing. I happened to look down and saw little milk droplets all over the stage, but before I could warn Weasel Boy he had slipped on one of the droplets and he shot off stage into the ass of Donkey Boy.

This startled Donkey Boy and he galloped onto the stage with the bottom half of Weasel Boy hanging out of his rear end. The crowd thought this was a deranged creature that had escaped from it’s cage so they all started to run towards the exit.

Of course there was utter pandemonium and many, many people were almost trampled to death. And, of course, I was blamed for causing us to quickly pack up all of our stuff and quickly leave town before the authorities could question us.

Two shows and two disasters. I definitely think my life is in turn around and everything is getting better!!!

See ya!!!

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Melissa Paternik

Melissa started writing columns back in 2000 when we first got going. She continued for several years and then retired her column. Other writers contributed to Chick Shit after she left. The archived columns are being added one by one and will appear from time to time.

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