I should be a free woman, but I’m still in jail!!!
I tried to keep a low profile and I was even allowed to get a prison job cleaning and disinfecting used sanitary napkins for $3.00 a week, but my prison enemy pushed me over the edge once again.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t been my time of the month, I guess. When I first noticed that I was having my monthly flow, I asked one of the guards if I could have a tampon or something, but they only laughed at me!!!
At dinner, I took a few slices of bread and some string beans and hid them in my prison uniform, When I got back to my cell I tied two of the bread slices together and had myself a dandy sanitary napkin!!!
The next day as I was working scrubbing a used sanitary napkin that used to belong to someone outside the prison walls, something wet hit me in the face. When I looked down to see what it was, I noticed that it was a blood soaked feminine napkin!!!
I was shocked and upset and looked around to see who did it. I saw my ex-cellmate laughing on the other side of the room so I and ran over to her and started to kick her ass!!
Soon enough we were separated and I was thrown back in solitary with another week tacked onto my sentence. I think that sucks, especially since the bread I have been using is deteriorating at a rapid pace.
You might ask yourself why I didn’t take one of the napkins that I cleaned. One woman tried and she hasn’t been heard from since, so I guess taking one is bad. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine!!! Just keep sending your email showing your support and we’ll get through this together!!!
NEXT WEEK: Freedom?
A new Chick Shit column every Wednesday!