After a few minutes of joyous silence……
“Where am I?” Bob asked, wakening up again.
“A safe place,” said the HR lady, trying to hide her smile.
“Have I been in a coma?” he asked.
“Sure. Yes, yes you have,” she replied now not trying to hide her smile.
He looked over at me.
“Who are you?” he asked.
I couldn’t come up with an answer.
“Wait!” Bob exclaimed. “You’re Uncle Joe and she’s…..Aunt Thelma?”
“Yeah, sure,” we replied.
“I remember the farm. There was breakfast. Ovaltine, I think. I had to shoe a horse. Then the horse shot me, but not before I turned into a monkey. You gave me wine to help with the pain. My head was mushy from getting hit with the bullet. Then I was in a shower and found out it was all just a dream. I was the one that shot R.J!”
“Yep,” said the HR lady as she walked over to Bob.
She was about to kick him in the head again, but stopped when he continued talking.
“But there was my twin, the evil twin. He came into the shower just after I realized it was all a dream and carved me up into tiny pieces with a wooden spoon so I would go down the drain nice and easy. When it was all over, I was drain sludge and he was me and now…….”
We all waited to see if he could figure it out.
“Now I want Ovaltine?” he asked.
We groaned.
“No?” he asked.
We all shook our heads and waited to see if he finally got it.
Bob’s eyes widened.
“I got it! I’m the evil twin! You’re all going to burn in hell, oh yes, yes, indeed you will!”
The HR lady was now really ready to kick him in the head, but I held up my hands.
“Let’s wait,” I said. “I want to see where this now goes.”
Bob laughed.
Evilly.
Lunatic Ravings is posted each Saturday.
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