By Bob Senitram
Bringing the darkness to light…sort of.
Later, in Dr. Benson’s office:
“…and he just walked out. They found a dead tourist the next day, parts of his body was missing.”
“Hector’s got leprosy? All we have to do is follow the body parts and we have our man!” Bob concludes.
“No, the tourist’s body was in pieces.”
“Oh, that makes more sense.”
“He got the guy’s clothes, cash, wallet…he could be anywhere. Bob, you may not be safe.”
“I think I’ll be ok. Don’t know how to explain it, but he would consider that…rude.”
“Either way, it’s over. The girl’s dead. It’s not your fault it worked out this way.”
“Wait, how do you know she’s dead?” Bob asked.
“Probably.” Benson replied.
“But still not my fault?”
“It’s that stupid warden. You know, he found a “Jack Meof” living in Tennessee, they got a whole squat team getting ready for the big bust.”
“Jack is a top heavy girl? Maybe she wears tactical padding to hide her, you know, assets. Concealed weapons! The fiend!” Bob comments.
“No, Jack’s not a girl. He’s nobody.”
“How can he be nobody if he lives in Tennessee?”
“I mean he’s no one of importance. But that idiot warden thinks Jack Meof is Hopalong hank.”
“Stupid warden! Goin’ after an unimportant nobody, who might be a woman…with concealed weapons.” Bob mutters. “Oh, that reminds me, he left this…” Bob pulls out the files and shows Dr. Benson the map.
“The warden gave you this?”
“No Hector.” Bob replied.
“Oh, that makes more sense.” Benson looks it over, “You know what this means?”
“I think it means Hopalong lives here.” Bob points to the circled house. “But we still don’t know his name.”
“We don’t need his name with this…”
“Oh wait, I know! His name is Hopalong Hank.”
The warden looks at Bob for a moment, “It could be just another wild goose chase, but…”
“Wait, this has something to do with geese migration?” Bob asks.
“No, no geese.” Benson replied.
“That’s crazy, geese are in Tennessee year round. He’s definitely following geese migration patterns. All we have to do is map out the patterns and we’ll know where he’s going. It all connects.”
“It doesn’t connect.”
“Then why bring up the geese?”
“I didn’t—”
“Exactly. Someone did. Someone who knows about geese. Someone like Hopalong.”
“Hopalong has nothing to do with geese.”
“And that’s exactly what the geese want us to think.” Bob concludes.
“Don’t worry about that, we need to check out that house. I’m sending you down there tonight. Report back what you find.”
“Ya know I’m going to Tennessee so much, maybe I should just get a job there.”
“Waste of time, nobody works down there, nothing ever gets done.”
“I guess you’re right. Hey, what if it really is Hopalong’s house?”
“Shoot him.”
“And the girl?” Bob asks.
“Don’t shoot the girl.”
“What if she tries to get away?”
“She’s supposed to. Besides, she’s probably dead.”
“Probably?”
“Just shoot Hopalong and we’ll find out.”
“Oh, ok. What if he’s not there?”
“I dunno, shoot the geese.”
AND NOW YOU KNOW!!!
Everything is connected… vaguely.
Song in my head:
COMING NEXT: The big bust!
Start from the beginning, Part 1…
Crap Considered is posted each Friday.
Visit the column homepage.
