“Well, let’s hold on for a moment,” I said. “This reminds me of something from a long, long time ago!”
The HR lady and Jerome sat down on the floor an watched me with rapt attention.
Star Chile Two hovered an inch or so above the floor an watched me with rapt attention.
“See, I was working in a car factory during THE war, and the government came down and said that instead of making cars, we needed to make some super secret flying machines.”
Everyone gasped.
“I KNOW!” yelled I.
“Now, to do this work, we all had to be drug free, so they told management that they would be bringing in drug sniffing dogs.”
Everyone gasped. Again.
“I KNOW!” yelled I. Again.
“Everyone in the factory came to me because they knew I was a well-read fellow.”
Everyone gasped, but not as loud as the first two times.
“I KNOW!” I yelled, but not as loudly as the first two times.
“Anyway, I told those druggies that the way to get around the drug sniffing dogs was to lather themselves up with honey and that would confuse those dogs. It’s something I read in an issue of Grit.”
This time there was no response from anyone.
“I KNOW!” I yelled just because I could.
“Well, seems the dogs were too tired to work that drug sniffing day so they rounded up a pack of drug sniffing bears. YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE CARNAGE!”
Everyone wept.
“I KNOW!” I yelled since I was on quite the roll.
“After surveying the carnage, the government decided we didn’t have enough manpower to build the super secret flying machines, so they gave the contract to Basic Fun, Inc. who made those flying machines out of Lincoln Logs, but they didn’t perform as expected and we lost or maybe even tied THAT war.”
Everyone tried to remember THAT war.
“I KNOW!” I yelled for the final time?
“So, I was fired for some reason! I then went to the local True Value Hardware Store, told them that Pat Summerall sent me but they had no clue what I was talking about.”
Everyone wept again.
Stephen Johnson
https://theweirdcrap.com
The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!
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