Quite suddenly, I became sad.
As the two still sat in awe, I told them something that scarred me for life.
“I remember when I worked in a factory building the good old Edsel.”
They were no longer in awe, but I continued.
“The wife was in the hospital, just about to give birth to a bunch of octopi. See, it was all part of a government test and she was chosen by a secret lottery. Nothing we could do about it, unless we wanted to be banished to Nebraska.”
I was losing them, but still continued.
“I asked the boss if I could leave early to be there with the wife and he old me cars were more important than human life. I thought about that for a bit, and saw where he was coming from. I was also quite drunk and that might have had something to do with my thought process, but whatever.”
They were slowly falling asleep, but I continued.
“I drunkenly built those Edsels, the wife gave birth and as government induced octopi do, as soon as they were all squirted out, they ganged together and ate the wife. Left the bones, they did. Ate her dead.”
They looked a bit more interested now, so…….
“Since this was before those cellphones, I didn’t find out about this until a week later. Told my boss about what happened and he commended me on choosing what was most important in my life at that time. I got a plaque. It’s hanging on the wall in my kitchen.”
They both laughed.
There was a knock on the door.
The HR lady got up to check and see who it was.
She peered through the peephole, turned around and vomited.
“Oh, no. Oh my goodness, my goodness, my goodness,” she gargled between vomit spurts.
We waited until she was finished.
She pointed at the door.
“IT’S BOB!” she screamed.
More Lunatic Ravings…
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