We milled around the office, just watching him shriek and hop around as he burned and burned some more.
Other than the burning, nothing else happened.
After the week went by, we began spitting on him.
Soon, the flames disappeared and Bob stopped his shrieking and hopping.
Without a word, the HR lady held out her hands and Bob took off the bib overalls.
“Huh. Thought they might have been flame retardant, but wasn’t sure. Now I am,” said the HR lady as she wadded up the overalls and tossed them in a desk drawer.
Everyone but Bob chuckled at this.
“Now,” said the HR lady. “Where were we?”
“I’ve gotta go!” said Bob.
“Oh?” asked the HR lady.
“Yes! See, I have an inn and we’re getting ready for our annual Christmas pageant but there’s a ruthless land developer in town and he wants to buy the inn and turn it into a truck stop and, if he does this, we won’t have a pageant and the town will be ruined!” said Bob as his eyes darted around nervously.
“Is that so?” asked the HR lady.
“It sure is so,” replied Bob. “Funny thing is that I went to high school with this land developer and he’s quite a handsome man, oh yes he is!”
“What does this have to do with anything?” I asked, really not interested.
“Well, there will be some shenanigans and so forth and pretty soon we’ll fall in love and the Christmas pageant will be saved!” Bob exclaimed and he excitedly twirled around the office.
One of the guards left the room.
“Is he going to be sick?” I asked the HR lady.
“Probably,” she replied.
“There’s also our annual pumpkin festival, but there’s the blight and the locust issue and I don’t know if that will happen! If it doesn’t the town will be ruined and the townsfolk will turn into psycho killers, chopping up their victims with rusty meat cleavers!” Bob said as he continued with his twirling.
“This sounds like a…..” the HR lady began.
“….Hallmark movie?” I finished.
She nodded.
A door opened.
The guard who had left came back in.
Right behind him was a rather large polar bear.
It immediately began to attack.
Lunatic Ravings is posted each Saturday.
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