The HR lady and I stopped our conversation to watch.
The song was familiar, but it took me a few seconds to figure out what it was.
In the meantime, Bob drooled and attempted to dance as his limbs clicked and clacked.
Then it hit me.
“Are you kidding me?” I asked quite loudly.
The DJ must have heard me because he gave me a wink and a thumbs up.
“What’s the problem?” asked the HR lady.
“This….this song is 42 minutes long! He’s going to be on the stage for 42 minutes!”
The HR lady spit out whatever she was drinking, screamed and ran out of the bar.
I tried to follow but the bouncer grabbed me at the exit and escorted me back to my seat.
“Sorry, can’t leave him unattended,” he said and went back to his bouncer duties.
As Dream Theater’s “Six Degrees Of Inner Turbulence” continued, all of us in the bar could only sit in silence and watch.
Twinkles came back over, sat down and watched as Bob continued.
“He’s no Chris Peterson,” she said after a few minutes.
I just nodded my head.
About 20 minutes into his set, Bob slipped in the growing pool of his drool and slid off the stage, crashing violently into the DJ.
The music stopped.
This enraged the now bored patrons and they started lighting each other on fire.
Then I heard bleating as if someone had brought a sheep into the bar.
“Sheep burn easily, I think,” I said as I looked around. “Must rescue the shee……oh, it’s only Bob.”
And it was. Why he was bleating like a sheep as he crawled over to me, I’ll never know nor would I ever want to know.
But bleat he did.
He finally reached the table and reached out one of his wooden hands.
I looked down and kicked his hand out of the way.
As I readied another kick, he was suddenly grabbed off the floor by the bouncer.
“It’s scarecrow time!” he bellowed as he carried Bob towards the exit.
A giant cheer went up and the patrons stopped, dropped and rolled and then followed the bouncer outside.
“Might as well!” I said and followed along.
Lunatic Ravings is posted each Saturday.
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