Dear Melissa, Fan Mail!

“Dear Melissa,

I have been married for over 7 years. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that the spark in my marriage is gone. No matter what I do, my husband doesn’t show any interest. Any ideas on what I should do?

Confused in Joplin, MO”

This is problem that plagues many marriages. I do have a simple, effective way for your husband to show renewed interest in you!!!

First, you must get a job in a strip bar, but don’t tell your husband. If he asks why you are gone until late at night, tell him that you are taking some college courses. He won’t be the wiser!!!!

You will find that the women you work with at the bar are willing to try anything!!! Find one that’s pretty, but not as pretty as you. Develop a friendship with her, which shouldn’t take that long. Trust me, dancers are lonely!!

Eventually you can invite her over to your house for dinner. Make sure your husband attends because if he doesn’t, your plan will be worthless!!!

During dinner, act very ‘friendly” with your new companion. This will interest your husband, because he will think that there is a possibility that you have turned into a lesbian. This excites men to no end!!!

Keep an eye on you husband. When it looks like he is about to explode, have your friend leave. Your husband will then do things to you that you have only been fantasizing about!!

The only problem you might have would be when your husband asks if your friend can join in. Some people might find this sick, but others might not. Use your own best judgement!!

Remember, you can keep promising your husband a threesome for a short time before he gets bored with you again, especially when you don’t follow through. I have seen many marriages end badly this way, so be very careful!!!

See ya!!!

NEXT WEEK: My oil wrestling pictures!!!

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Webmaster and editor of I obtained a bachelor's degree in micro-biology around the turn of the century but was quickly tracked down and forced to return it to its rightful owner and pay a $25 fine. *** A fan of science fiction, I started this website in 1999 as a portal for science fiction stories that have never been published. *** Completely devoid of talent, I decided to call on the public to supply content. Shortly afterwards Stephen and I started writing weekly columns and have continued to this day.

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