The HR lady sighed.
“Look,” she said. “This has gone on long enough. If it was being written in parts here and there for some website that nobody ever visits, we would be up to part, oh, I don’t know, 119 or something. Just a stupid waste of time, plus you guys act like you’re the only ones employed by this company. You do know there’s thousands of HR issues in this company, right?”
Bob hopped to his feet and made a small gesture with one of his hands.
”I’m not the Bob you’re looking for,” he said.
“He’s not the Bob we’re looking for,” said the HR lady, completely forgetting what she had said moments before.
Bob pointed at me and smiled.
“HE’S the Bob you’re looking for!”
“You’re the Bob we’re looking for,” said the HR lady, looking at me with dazed, dead eyes.
“Wait, just hold on a minute. It’s a trap!” I said and then made a fish face. “IT’S A TRAP!”
Bob walked over to me, jumped up and punched me in the stomach.
It wasn’t painful at all due to his tinny logged hands, but the surprise caused me to bend over for some reason.
“I’m not your father,” he whispered in my ear and then scooted away, laughing merrily.
“No kidding,” I said.
His laughing stopped.
“You knew?” he asked in quite the surprised way.
I looked at him as if he were nothing more than a complete moron.
He didn’t like this.
“HE MUST DIE!” he said, his tiny body quivering with rage. “THAT IS THE WAY!”
“That is the way,” replied the HR lady.
Lunatic Ravings is posted each Saturday.
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