After all the tape was removed, Star Child Two flew around the room, going faster and faster.
When it reached top speed, it headed towards Bob’s exposed buttocks.
One minute it was there.
After a slurping sound and a scream, it was no longer there.
As Bob convulsed and unneeded innards flew from each and every one of his orifices, we could only stand there and watch.
After a fairly unnerving convulsion, we cheered and high-fived each other.
It seemed to be working!
A dark purple chunk flew from Bob’s nose, slid along the floor and smashed against the far wall.
“No more spleen!” declared the HR lady.
We cheered some more.
Suddenly, Bob’s body rose from the ground.
Higher and higher it went as red, black, tan, purple and yellow chunky liquids flew from his body.
When his body reached the ceiling, it hung there motionless.
After a few minutes, we heard a frightfully funny tearing sound and Star Child Two popped out of Bob’s mouth.
Bob crashed to the ground and lay there with no movement.
Star Child Two flew over to one of the burly men who began licking it clean.
“Is he dead?” I asked.
“No,” said the HR lady. “It’s just the first part of the process.”
“Oh? What’s the second part?”
“Now comes the badger placenta!”
We all cheered again.
Lunatic Ravings is posted each Saturday.
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