Oops, I did it again!


Some people got a bit confused on what I was going to write about this week. I guess it came out sounding like I was going to show off my private parts!!!

Boy, I am so embarrassed!! I was in a rush to get my column done last week and I didn’t proofread it. My cheeks are red!!! And if you think I’m talking about my face cheeks, you are very wrong!!

Ralph got a little angry and spanked my fanny!! I would have been upset, but I did deserve it. I will make sure I check over everything I write, unless I feel like I deserve to be punished!!

This week I am going to give you a sneak peek at how I cook a turkey on Thanksgiving!! See how easy it would be to mess up like I did last week??

I have tried many types of stuffing in turkey, but I have found the tastiest to be a mixture of baked grits and mayonnaise. You just need to spread those turkey legs as wide as you can, then shove the grits and mayo up into the turkey as deep as you can.

There is a possibility your arm can get stuck, but I have found that as long as you coat your arm with a thick covering of Vaseline, you can stick most of your arm between those legs without fear of getting stuck and the embarrassment of having to go to the emergency room to have your arm freed.

The Vaseline adds extra flavor, so you don’t have to worry about it rubbing off on the turkey. When you’re done stuffing the turkey full, place it in the oven preheated to 600 degrees and let it bake at that same temperature for 16 hours.

The finished product might look small, but it tastes really good!!!


NEXT WEEK: We paint our trailer!!!

Melissa Paternik

Melissa started writing columns back in 2000 when we first got going. She continued for several years and then retired her column. Other writers contributed to Chick Shit after she left. The archived columns are being added one by one and will appear from time to time.

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