I was very proud that I was able to attend career day at a local school!!
At first I was a bit apprehensive since I am a dancer, but I figured that since I do live in Nebraska and the only jobs for women in this state are either convenience store clerk or go-go dancer, I could help point the soon-to-be graduates on the right career choice!!
I was nervous about doing this since I could have a profound impact on a young girl’s life. I told Ralph about my nervousness and he told me not to worry about it and to go fetch him a beer. I felt so much better!!
I wanted to be different from the other ladies who showed up for career day. I watched as the first lady went on stage and showed how to count out correct change and how to give a convenience store customer proper directions to the cooler.
She did it so well that my nervousness came back!! I was shaking like the hand of a 95 year old customer trying to hand me a wrinkled dollar bill.
Finally it was my turn. I walked onto the stage and started to dance, all the while explaining how to keep eye contact with the customer.
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When I got to the part about the proper etiquette in bending over to pick up loose change that customers sometimes throw on the stage, I noticed that most of the school kids were losing interest.
I was supposed to demonstrate the technique of lap dancing, but decided to skip that and go to the big money maker.
I had seen one of the dancers at the bar shooting grapes out of her private parts and it was quite the show stopper!! She made a lot of money doing that and I decided that I needed to learn how so that I could make lots more money.
I practiced at home and tried grapes, raisins, quarters and shot glasses, but all those objects were kind of boring. I wanted to be able to shoot something out of my body that would be fun for the patrons!!!
I decided to debut my new skill at career day. If I failed, it was no big loss since the convenience store business is always looking for help.
I lay down on the stage and started shoving Matchbox cars into me. This grabbed the students’ attention and they watched me in awe.
After I put 10 of the tiny metal cars into me, I started to squeeze them out. I was so proud when I heard the students cheering as the cars came shooting out of me into the audience!!!
When I was done, I got a standing ovation!! The principal came over to me and I noticed that he had tears in his eyes. He thanked me and told me that there was no doubt that I guided a majority of the female students onto the right career path!!
That same night at work I showed off what I could do. Tips doubled for me and the patrons seemed quite happy because they were able to take the toys home to give to their kids!!!
See ya!!
NEXT WEEK: A Special Treat!!!
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