My Growing Baby!

Well, my baby has grown to almost 4 feet tall!!!

It’s amazing how much it’s grown in only two short weeks!! I don’t know if it’s because of the breast feeding or the fact that we live in the woods, but something strange and marvelous is happening here. 

The only problem is I still don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl since the sexual organs have still not appeared. I’m debating whether or not to go to a doctor, but I might hold off for a little while longer. In either case, I have promised myself to name my baby later on this week when I have a day off at work.

Next week is the annual “Bring your baby to work”. This gives the children the chance to see how we make a living and also gives our boss the chance to see who could work for him in the future. It’s a great opportunity for everybody!!

Another small thing that is disturbing me is that my baby seems to enjoy killing living things. When I get home after a long day, it hasn’t been uncommon for the front yard to be filled with the mangled bodies of furry forest creatures. I guess in a way it’s kind of good since I am too tired to make something to eat when I ge home and raw squirrel isn’t really that bad. Hey, maybe I can send my baby after Ralph and teach him a lesson!!!!!

Well, it’s almost 6 and that means breast feeding time so I have to go. See ya!!!

COMING NEXT: My baby’s name!!!

Melissa Paternik

Melissa started writing columns back in 2000 when we first got going. She continued for several years and then retired her column. Other writers contributed to Chick Shit after she left. The archived columns are being added one by one and will appear from time to time.

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