I am very angry!!!

Even though I let myself be probed by some aliens, nobody has been in contact with me to tell my story to people worldwide.

I thought I could make some good money due to the probing, but I had to go back to work!!! Thank goodness the manager at the bar likes me, or I don’t know what I would have done.

The only shift he had open was 6 am til 5 pm. Even though the tips aren’t that good during those hours, I went back to work.

The manager told me that I needed to take full advantage of my alien abduction, so I now dance with “probes” hanging out of various body orifices. I am now none as “The Abductee” and I seem to have myself a small following!!!!
.Melissa found some nice things to do with veggies!!!
For some additional cash, I allow my fans to touch a “probe”. Depending on the day and my mood, the ‘probe” is always something new. I have already used curling irons, bottles water, mayonnaise jars and cucumbers, so who knows what I’ll use next.

Sorry that this is so short, but I have to go the the store to pick up some 2 liter bottles of soda for work tomorrow!!!


NEXT WEEK: Still Angry!?

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Melissa Paternik

Melissa started writing columns back in 2000 when we first got going. She continued for several years and then retired her column. Other writers contributed to Chick Shit after she left. The archived columns are being added one by one and will appear from time to time.

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