Your here? You should know that I am on vacation so I wouldn’t be wasting my time writing something new for you. I understand you need my help, but sometimes even someone as wonderful as myself needs some time off.
You probably came here for some beauty tips which I promised last week. Just because I promise something doesn’t mean that I have to follow through. That’s the reason why I’m me and you’re you.
I think I just felt an emotion and it might be pity for you. Or maybe it isn’t pity. Maybe it’s anger because you’re so stupid to think that I’ll always be here for you.
Fine. If you came here for beauty tips, you’ll get beauty tips. Try to remember that the reason that I’m going out of my way to make you happy is not out of pity or because I’m in a giving mood. It’s because you annoy me and this is probably the only way I can make you leave me alone so I can enjoy some time off.
Here’s your beauty tip:
If you need a tip on how to be beautiful, that can only mean that you’re not particularly good looking so no matter what you do to your face won’t help anyway so just give up, buy a couple cases of frozen bon-bons and munch away until you can’t get up from your living room couch.
Feel better now? I do.
NEXT WEEK: Will I have some peace?
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