The Paint Job!

Ralph and I decided to paint our trailer since it hadn’t been done for the past 10 years. We thought it was going to be such a simple job, but it turned out harder then we thought!!

Ralph went to the paint store and picked up the shade we agreed on, a bright yellow. Yellow is a happy color and we wanted to add a splash of sunshine to the trailer park!!

I got home from work at about 6 a.m. and, as soon as I walked in the door, Ralph handed me a paintbrush. I promised him that I would be as quiet as possible because he needed to catch up on his sleep.

Ralph had poured the paint in a huge bucket along with a few buckets of bleach. Since we don’t have much time to clean, we figured that the bleach would give the paint a special dirt and stain fighting agent!!

I first painted the outside of the trailer. The paint/bleach smelled a little bit strange, but I figured that was normal. After putting the second coat on, I headed indoors.

Since it was quite hot outside, I closed all the windows and turned on all the fans. After taking a small break, started painting the living room.

I accidentally fell off the ladder when I was painting the ceiling and this woke Ralph. He was a little bit mad when he came out of the bedroom!!! He did calm down after I apologized and promised him that I would remain extra quiet.

I finished the living room and kitchen in a couple of hours and noticed I was feeling a little bit dizzy and nauseous so I went outside and puked so I wouldn’t disturb Ralph.

When I was feeling a little bit better, I went back inside and started in the bathroom. Just to be extra safe, I shut the bathroom door so that Ralph could sleep in peace.

It didn’t take me long in the bathroom, but I was feeling sicker than I did before. I thought that I was a bit dehydrated, so I drank a few glasses of water. This didn’t help because I vomited all over the bathroom floor.

I cleaned up the mess and figured I could rest after I finished the hallway and the bedroom. The hallway took longer than it should have because I was dry heaving every five minutes or so, but I finally finished it.

I started on the bedroom, being extra quiet because Ralph was still sleeping. I managed to finish one wall before I passed out.

I was awakened by Ralph slapping my face. He looked very concerned when he asked me when I would be done painting.

See why I love him so much??

I quickly finished the bedroom and cooked Ralph his dinner before I had to go to work. I was still puking up anything I ate or drank, but I guess it was one of those flu bugs. It hit me really hard the following day when I had to put the next coat of paint on, but our place, inside and out, is so bright and cheerful that I can live with the constant vomiting for a while!!!!


NEXT WEEK: I go to the local high school for career day!!

More Chick Shit for Chic Chicks!

A new Chick Shit column every Wednesday!

Melissa Paternik

Melissa started writing columns back in 2000 when we first got going. She continued for several years and then retired her column. Other writers contributed to Chick Shit after she left. The archived columns are being added one by one and will appear from time to time.

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