The Planckojiffy

The shortest unit of time recognized by The Interuniversal Transdimensional Time Travel Council of Geneva, Wisconsin (or ITTTC) is the Planckojiffy*.

And the reason that the Planckojiffy is the shortest recognized unit of time is because the Planckojiffy just so also happens to be the shortest unit of time that can ever possibly be measured.

A Plackojiffy is equal to the amount of time that it takes for light to travel through a vacuum for the distance of one Planckojigger**, which correspondingly is the shortest unit of distance that can ever possibly be measured.

So in other words, in terms that the video gamers amongst you will most certainly understand, the Planckojiffy is effectively and essentially the frame rate of our universe, with the Planckojigger itself being equivalent to the pixel size, thus defining our “screen resolution”.

Due to this and other similar strange serendipities there are certain people who have suggested that our entire reality is in fact nothing more than a giant computer simulation (or video game if you will) in which we ourselves are nothing more than player characters, or, if my own personal suspicions prove correct, in most people’s cases non-player characters.

I once asked Schmelnoz about this and in response he immediately stopped whatever it was he was doing, briefly stared at me, glitched in and out and pixelized for a few seconds, and then went right back about his business as if nothing had happened.

“Any other questions?” he mumbled offhand.

I kept my mouth shut after that because I just so happen to cherish my own personal sanity.


*Don’t bother trying to look that word up because as of the time of my writing this it is isn’t even in the dictionaries yet.  And by the time it is in the dictionaries the dictionaries have already become obsolete because people stopped using them a long time ago.

**In The Present for some reason we refer to these units as “Planck length” and “Planck time”.   A Planckojiffy  (aka “Planck time”) is an unimaginably short amount of time.  We’re talking like 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds.  You can look that up if you want to.

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Spamrider of the Apocalypse is just some crazy dude who contacted us out of the blue one day claiming to be a time traveler who had discovered that he had already been publishing information on our website for years while he was visiting the future.  Neither me or Steve had ever heard of him before so we don’t know if he’s ACTUALLY crazy or what, but he’s definitely weird, and is probably full of crap, so we both just looked at each other, shrugged are shoulders, and pretty much just went with it.

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