Two of the burly men left the room.
The rest of us milled around aimlessly, sometimes stepping on Bob’s lifeless body, sometimes not.
After a bit, the two burly men came back with a large vat.
They took off the cover and threw it to the side.
I went over to the vat and peered in.
“That’s…..?” I asked.
“Badger placenta!” roared everyone in the room.
The HR lady found a bucket somewhere in the room and dipped it into the vat.
When the bucket was full, she walked over to Bob.
“Won’t this ruin his Lincoln Logged additions?” I asked, not really caring.
“Nope,” said the HR lady as she began pouring the bucket of placenta over Bob’s prone body. “It’ll just make the Logs shiny and slippery.”
The room fell silent.
Then, again, we all laughed. This time quite hysterically.
After a few more trips to the vat and more dousings of the body, we waited.
A tv was wheeled into the room and we watched every season of “The Waltons” as we continued to wait.
We felt good watching what was a simpler time in America.
When the final episode ended, we put chairs in a circle and discussed what we had learned.
“Why did we put chairs in a circle and not even use them?” I asked.
Everyone shrugged.
Then there was a belch.
Then some flatulence.
Then groaning.
Bob’s body moved.
“HE’S ALIVE!” somebody shrieked.
Lunatic Ravings is posted each Saturday.
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