Texas Toast

In Texas every meal you eat comes with Texas Toast.

I’m not that big of a fan of Texas Toast actually. No offense to Texas.

Actually, I wonder if Texas Toast was even invented in Texas.

Some guy in New Jersey probably sliced some bread extra thick one day (this was before they invented sliced bread you see), and his bitchy wife comes along and says, “What the hell do you think you’re doing NOW?” And thinking quickly on his feet the guy answers, “Making Texas Toast!”

(Because everything’s bigger in Texas, you see. Even my wiener.)

And then the guy’s brother-in-law who’s actually from Texas finds out about it from his bitchy wife and he introduces it to his home state acting like it was his own idea all along. And everybody in Texas is so enamored and smitten and proud that they got their own kind of toast that they start serving it with every meal.

At least I figure that’s how it happened anyway.

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Spamrider of the Apocalypse is just some crazy dude who contacted us out of the blue one day claiming to be a time traveler who had discovered that he had already been publishing information on our website for years while he was visiting the future.  Neither me or Steve had ever heard of him before so we don’t know if he’s ACTUALLY crazy or what, but he’s definitely weird, and is probably full of crap, so we both just looked at each other, shrugged are shoulders, and pretty much just went with it.

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