I got a present at work on Thanksgiving!!
It was a fairly slow day at the bar, what with everyone celebrating the holiday with their families, but since I am so dedicated the owner gave me a old wooden skateboard so I wouldn’t have to walk to work any more.
Don’t worry, I did celebrate Thanksgiving when I got off work. With my tips, I went to Burger King and bought a cheeseburger and small fries and had a grand old time at home. The food was a bit cold when I did get home, but I was in the holiday spirit so it was okay!!!
I did have to burn the skateboard since it did get quite cold out in the woods and until I save enough money to by some panelling, the cardboard will have to suffice. Oh well, at least I got my health and the growing alien embryo in my stomach!!!
I promised that I would have some holiday shopping tips, but the heck with that!!! Ladies, if you want to give your man something he would really appreciate, do like I did with Ralph and become your man’s whore!! Men LOVE that!!!
If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, then give him something off your body. One time I gave Ralph some of my hair clippings (I don’t have to tell you where the hair came from!!) and he treasured it until he lost it. Men love showing off their woman, and if they can’t, a piece of their body is just as good!!
If you are going to do this, use your imagination. There are many parts of a woman’s body that are useless and they might as well be used to bring happiness into somebodies life!!!
NEXT WEEK: Baby pictures!!!!
A new Chick Shit column every Wednesday!