There must be some sort of bug going around because I found out that I’m pregnant too!!!
When I went to a doctor last week, he ran a few tests and told me to come back the next day. When I did he told me had some good news and bad news for me.
I thought that I had herpes or crabs or something like that, but he told me that I was pregnant. Then he got really serious and told me that the bad news was that the baby was probably deformed.
Bad news??!! Who was he kidding!!! I told him about my alien abduction a couple of months ago, but he laughed at me and called me a stupid person. I know the truth though!!!
Now I’m carrying an alien baby in my belly and I couldn’t be happier!! I called Ralph and told him the news and he promised that he would get back to me when he makes a decision on whether I can move back in with him!!!
When I told my boss he told me that he would make my shift 1 hour shorter and that I could dance until my water broke. That’s a thoughtful man!!!
I am going to start smoking and drinking alcohol since I read somewhere that aliens like things like that. I am going to make my baby proud and bring it up right, whether I live in the woods or a trailer!!!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!
NEXT WEEK: Holiday shopping tips!!!
A new Chick Shit column every Wednesday!