Good News Bad News

So I’ve got good news and bad news.

The good news is I’ve figured out why I wasn’t able to Jump in this Timeline, and also why and how I ended up here in the first place.

Of course it turns out it was all your old Spamrider’s doing.

Despite all his big talk, he saw what was coming and got scared shitless.  And then he figured out a way to bail out of this world.

Without killing himself I mean.

But in order do that, you need a replacement.

And apparently he found out that in my timeline Donald Trump actually lost the 2024 election which meant that America and the world at large still had at least a wisp of a chance of going on for awhile without everything turning to complete and utter shit.  (The joke’s on him though, because as a time traveller I can tell you that everything turn to complete and utter shit anyways.)

Also, the reason I couldn’t jump is because in this Timeline is because you have to do it backwards.  Or rather, sideways.

It’s sort of hard to describe.

But anyways, I’ve figured out how to Jump now.  Which brings us to the bad news.

In figuring all this out I may or may not have accidentally set in motion certain events that could ultimately lead to another timeline breach.

All I know is that things have been getting awfully weird.

Weirder than usual I mean.

WAY weirder than usual.

So anyway, that’s where things stand.

I guess from the reader’s perspective it’s just more of the same old weird crap.

But I fear from here on out it’s only going to get weirder.  And crappier.

More Spamrider Columns

A new Spamrider of the Apocalypse each Sunday, and beyond!

Spamrider

Spamrider of the Apocalypse is just some crazy dude who contacted us out of the blue one day claiming to be a time traveler who had discovered that he had already been publishing information on our website for years while he was visiting the future.  Neither me or Steve had ever heard of him before so we don’t know if he’s ACTUALLY crazy or what, but he’s definitely weird, and is probably full of crap, so we both just looked at each other, shrugged are shoulders, and pretty much just went with it.

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