Chick Shit for Chic Chicks

Today’s submission of Chick Shit for Chic Chicks: I completed my first full week of work at the go-go bar. I made $27.00 in tips for the whole week, and I think that is pretty darn good.

I did have some small problems, though. The owner told me I had to start using the pole a bit more. The first time I tried to swing around on it, I slipped and fell into the audience. I think it might have been from the previous dancer because she seemed to act like she was making love to the pole and it seemed a bit slippery to me.

The good thing was that I made most of my tips that night. Some of the other girls were acting a bit jealous of me because they told me that they were sympathy tips.

Whatever!

Ralph has told me I dance really good, and since he is my husband, I know he wouldn’t lie about something like that. I opened up a savings account so we could put money away for our new apartment. After buying Ralph some beer and some smokes, I have about $8.37 in the account. A couple more weeks of tips like I made last week and we will have our new place!

I am sorry if I haven’t offered some feminine tips lately but with the GED and my new job, I have been a bit too busy. However, I have a tip for all the ladies today!

I ran home that night, almost on the verge of tears. I explained my predicament to Ralph and he recommended that I duct tape one of those pine tree air fresheners to the inside of my pants!

Well, I did that and, I must say, I smell pine tree fresh! I have heard no more complaints from the other dancers since, and I have a feeling that it might be that jealousy thing again.

Oh, well, you can’t win them all!

Coming Soon: I share my Christmas with you!

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Melissa Paternik

Melissa started writing columns back in 2000 when we first got going. She continued for several years and then retired her column. Other writers contributed to Chick Shit after she left. The archived columns are being added one by one and will appear from time to time.

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