I got my baby pictures back and they’re not what I expected.
The guy that took the pictures told me that they take a long time to develop so he drew me a picture of what he can see from the film. I was expecting my baby to have maybe two heads or at least 4 arms, but the picture is of a normal baby.
I don’t know what to do now. I thought I finally had the proof that I was abducted by and forced to have sex with aliens a few months ago. I don’t think that a normal baby will be enough proof to the papers.
What’s weird though is that a lot of people have been looking at me differently since I had the pictures taken. Some guys have offered to take my picture and sell it on the internet, but I know that no one will be interested in pictures of a normal child.
Someone else told me that they saw naked pictures of someone who looked like me on the internet. I know that lucky naked lady is making lots of money selling pictures of her body to strangers and I wish I had the opportunity to do something like that.
As you can tell, I’m a bit depressed. On top of that, I am quite bloated and my belly seems to be getting larger everyday. I just hope something marvelous happens soon because I don’t know what I’m going to do.
NEXT WEEK: Dancing and other fun stuff!!!
A new Chick Shit column every Wednesday!