Baby Pictures?

I got my baby pictures back and they’re not what I expected.

The guy that took the pictures told me that they take a long time to develop so he drew me a picture of what he can see from the film. I was expecting my baby to have maybe two heads or at least 4 arms, but the picture is of a normal baby.

I don’t know what to do now. I thought I finally had the proof that I was abducted by and forced to have sex with aliens a few months ago. I don’t think that a normal baby will be enough proof to the papers.

What’s weird though is that a lot of people have been looking at me differently since I had the pictures taken. Some guys have offered to take my picture and sell it on the internet, but I know that no one will be interested in pictures of a normal child.

Someone else told me that they saw naked pictures of someone who looked like me on the internet. I know that lucky naked lady is making lots of money selling pictures of her body to strangers and I wish I had the opportunity to do something like that.

As you can tell, I’m a bit depressed. On top of that, I am quite bloated and my belly seems to be getting larger everyday. I just hope something marvelous happens soon because I don’t know what I’m going to do.


NEXT WEEK: Dancing and other fun stuff!!!

More Chick Shit for Chic Chicks!

A new Chick Shit column every Wednesday!

Melissa Paternik

Melissa started writing columns back in 2000 when we first got going. She continued for several years and then retired her column. Other writers contributed to Chick Shit after she left. The archived columns are being added one by one and will appear from time to time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Enjoyed this? Please spread the word :)