A Little Bit Angry!

I am a little bit angry right now!!

Instead of going on vacation, I am going to have to spend a week in jail because I killed someone!!!

I didn’t mean to, but I guess probing myself with a birdbath during my dance routine caused an old man to have a heart attack and die!!

I didn’t know this had happened until I was home and packing for the vacation when the police showed up. They asked me to demonstrate what I had done at the bar that night, so I did.

Well, they sure did seem to enjoy the mini show I put on for them, but when I was done, they put the handcuffs on me quite fast!! I was then driven to the police station and booked for murder!!!

I went to court the next day and was told what happened to the old man at the bar. The judge told me that since the man that died was very old, I would only need to spend a week in jail, but he would allow me to go home for a few days before I had to serve my sentence.

So, that’s where I am now. Tomorrow I start serving my hard time, so I’m going to have to write my column for next week from jail!!! I have heard that they do read all outgoing mail and edit it, so I don’t know what next weeks column will look like. I just hope that they put me in a cell with someone who has been there for a long time, so I can have someone to take care of me.

I told Ralph he doesn’t have to wait for me. He told me he will try to bear with being apart from me for as long as he can, but he can’t make any promises. Now do you see why I love him so much?

NEXT WEEK: I’m a jailbird!!!

Melissa Paternik

Melissa started writing columns back in 2000 when we first got going. She continued for several years and then retired her column. Other writers contributed to Chick Shit after she left. The archived columns are being added one by one and will appear from time to time.

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