Yet Still More Shit Schmelnoz Says

Schmelnoz once told me that the Zippo lighter is the pinnacle of man’s creation.

“Think about it,” he said.

Actually he probably said something more like, “Surmise Spamrider upon the following megrim…”

But as usual I’m transliterating here.

So he said, “Think about it.  Instant fire in a little pocket-sized indestructible metal box.  If you humans had just quit while you were ahead the entire universe would be better off right now.”

And at the risk of repeating myself again (again), I couldn’t really argue with him.

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Spamrider

Spamrider of the Apocalypse is just some crazy dude who contacted us out of the blue one day claiming to be a time traveler who had discovered that he had already been publishing information on our website for years while he was visiting the future.  Neither me or Steve had ever heard of him before so we don’t know if he’s ACTUALLY crazy or what, but he’s definitely weird, and is probably full of crap, so we both just looked at each other, shrugged are shoulders, and pretty much just went with it.

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