TimeEx

I am currently seeking investors for a business opportunity involving an idea I came up with.

I will go ahead and tell it to you because I know that nobody can pull it off but me and I don’t have to worry about somebody else swooping in and stealing my idea.

Except maybe Newman.  But Newman has his hands full right now.

So here is my idea.

A Time-Tracking Service

Want to know the exact time and date when the package you haven’t even ordered yet will arrive?  Then you need a time-tracking service.

You can’t always trust the mail.  And you can’t trust them other delivery guys either.  You can’t trust no one nohow.

And that’s why you need a time-tracking service.

What if they mangle or lose your shipment and the package never even arrives?

Find out using our time-tracking service, searching indefinitely into the Future for that delivery notification that never arrives/arrived.

And then, once you know it’s never coming, never even order the damn thing!

Of course, that would be breaking the Laws of Causality, and a person could get themselves into a heap of trouble doing that, so in nowise should I or anybody else here at TheWeirdCrap.com ever be construed as having provided you with any sort of legal or otherwise reputable advice whatsoever.

But never even order the damn thing!

So I hope you can see the value in my proposal by now.

The problem is, though I have all the Time in the universe, I have no money, and that is why I am soliciting investors in my scheme business plan.

Because it takes money to do business.  If there were no money involved, then it wouldn’t be business.

So send us your money.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.


Spamrider of the Apocalypse is posted each Sunday.
Visit the column homepage.

Spamrider

Spamrider of the Apocalypse is just some crazy dude who contacted us out of the blue one day claiming to be a time traveler who had discovered that he had already been publishing information on our website for years while he was visiting the future.  Neither me or Steve had ever heard of him before so we don’t know if he’s ACTUALLY crazy or what, but he’s definitely weird, and is probably full of crap, so we both just looked at each other, shrugged are shoulders, and pretty much just went with it.

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