So it turns out Gary Coleman is a Dimension Lord who can get out of Bob’s closet any time he wants and in fact comes and goes as he pleases. The old Chick Shit chick doesn’t talk much. I think she’s got shellshock from some of the things Bob did to her. I guess they don’t call it shellshock anymore. She’s got the PTSDQ. Anyway Gary Coleman schnizzled to an alternate universe where Gilligan’s Island really happened and brought back The Professor who constructed a cell phone charger from some strands of our hair, a Bic pen, various bits of food that Bob was feeding us and some mothballs that Bob had scattered around the closet. That Professor was amazing. The funny thing was in the universe where Gary Coleman pulled him from The Professor was Don Knotts instead of Russell Johnson. So it was almost like getting to hang out with Don Knotts, which was really cool. Gary has taken him back to his old universe now. And I’m typing away on my newly charged cellphone and Chick Shit chick is sitting in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. Every now and then Bob kicks the door and tells her to shut the hell up. Poor Chick Shit chick. Well Gary is back now. That probably means Bob is coming. Gary always seems to know and schnizzles back just in time. I guess it’s because he sees into many dimensions at once and knows what the fuck is up with shit. And as if on cue, here he comes. I gotta get this phone back up where even he wouldn’t look for it. Gotta go!
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