Big Lake

As I write this I am currently sitting in a hotel room in Big Lake, Texas. Never mind what year it is.

The name of the hotel is “The Derrick Inn”.

I call it “The Derelict Inn”.

It isn’t a bad hotel, really. It just has the misfortune of being located in a town that is totally out in the middle of nowhere. Big Lake may have a big lake, but despite being located in Texas that’s the only thing that’s big in Big Lake.

Apparently they used to measure towns by how many horses they had tied up at the local saloon. Hence the term “One Horse Town”. Nowadays I think you’re just supposed to replace the word “horse” with “stoplight”.  Big Lake is a two stoplight town.

2,885 citizens inhabit Big Lake, Texas. According to the flier on the wall it has 11 churches. That’s one church for every 262 people.  Not counting three heathens.

Of the eleven churches, three are Baptist, one is Catholic, one is Methodist, one is Pentecostal, and one is Mexican. They’ve also got your Apostolic, First Assembly, Church of Christ, and Faith Community churches.

If you’re Lutheran you have to drive to Rankin.

More Spamrider Columns

A new Spamrider of the Apocalypse each Sunday, and beyond!


Spamrider of the Apocalypse is just some crazy dude who contacted us out of the blue one day claiming to be a time traveler who had discovered that he had already been publishing information on our website for years while he was visiting the future.  Neither me or Steve had ever heard of him before so we don’t know if he’s ACTUALLY crazy or what, but he’s definitely weird, and is probably full of crap, so we both just looked at each other, shrugged are shoulders, and pretty much just went with it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Enjoyed this? Please spread the word :)