No Gnus is good Gnus
by Hooty McBoobs
I had no idea what to write about this week, nothing happened that pissed me off. I know you’re shocked, but I guess that’s a good sign because it means that the medication is kicking in.
I thought in keeping with the theme of this highly cultured web-site that it would be a good idea to give you a short news update to keep you abreast of our changing world:
Around the world today: people everywhere said and did stupid things, making a general mess out of life.
In the local news: Pete D. is a closet Homosexual and refuses to come out. When questioned about these allegations, Pete D. began to cry declaring, through his sobs, “ I am NOT gay, I am just a sensitive man, there is nothing wrong with that. Besides, I just got married, you can’t be gay and be married”. Ok Pete, whatever keeps you in the closet.
In additional news: babies and small children will be screaming and crying at the top of their lungs in stores everywhere. Meanwhile their mothers will ignore it and continue to shop, while everyone else fights the urge to start smacking small children.
And now for the weather: Look out your window.
Now over to Bob the highway traffic “specialist” who gets paid $ 80,000.00 a year to look at a TV screen and tell you traffic is backed up.
BOB: Traffic is backed up everywhere for no apparent reason, you’re going to be so late you might as well take the next exit and drive straight to the unemployment office because you’re fired.
In sports today: someone did something with a ball and they ran somewhere and people cheered. It was quite a game!
On the lighter side of the news: you sat there wasted ten minutes reading this garbage.
For the Weirdcrap news, this has been Hooty McBoobs reporting.
