Here is some Drunken Advice for Drunken Drunkards, another Chick Shit column submitted by someone who wants to remain anonymous.
Why? We have no idea, maybe he/she is wanted by the police. Which would make sense considering our fan base. Without further ado, here it is:
The problem with that fist martini is that it disappears too soon. Which makes you want another one.
Which likewise disappears too soon.
Are you starting to see the problem here?
I don’t know what it is about martinis.
They’re the closest thing to Kryptonite in liquid alcohol form that this Superman has ever seen.
They’re really the only alcoholic drink that I have a regular tendency to drink too many of.
There’s something about that diabolical combination of liquor and wine that yields more than just the sum of its parts.
For me at least martinis have a distinct sedative effect.
Like a drug.
It’s like getting your drinkin’ and your druggin’ all in one shot, killing two birds with one stone as it were.
Which makes your martinis dangerous.
In fact they should probably be outlawed.
Which of course would make them even more desirable and precious.
So maybe outlawing them should be outlawed.
Come to think of it maybe I’m onto something here.
Think I’d better fix another martini and think about it.
COMING NEXT: We have no idea?
