Daylight Saving Blues

Well, it’s that time of year again when most people set their clocks ahead an hour and, as my friend Schmelnoz the Incomprehensible once put it, start pretending that it’s really one hour later than it actually is. Personally I agree with Schmelnoz and think this Daylight Saving stuff is all pretty asinine. But, living among crazies like you all it’s just one more stupid thing I have to deal with I guess. I also guess it doesn’t affect me as much as it does most people anyway since I’m always moving in and out of different time zones anyway by actually travelling through time. So I basically just leave my watch set to the same time all year round and make the appropriate adjustments in my head depending on wherever and whenever I happen to be. I guess you could say I have my very own time zone. Let’s call it “Spam Time,” which to me will always be the same as U.S. Eastern Standard Time which is what I grew up with—even if U.S. Eastern Standard Time doesn’t happen to be following U.S. Eastern Standard Time at the moment. Anyone is welcome to switch over to my time zone. It won’t even cost you anything. And best of all, you’ll never have to reset your clock again. If you still have to suddenly start waking up an hour earlier or going to bed an hour later just to keep in sync with all the bozos around you who don’t know any better then well, that’s just too bad I guess. Nobody ever said the world was a fair place. Actually, I think some guy did say that one time—right before he got wrongly convicted of murder in Texas and was executed before anyone figured it out. Not that it probably would have stopped them anyways.

So, I guess I’ll just start waking up an hour earlier just like everybody else for awhile just so people won’t bitch about me being late all the time. Even if I’m not really late because in reality it’s just them who are all early. But let me tell you, when you generally have to be up by 5:00 or 6:00 a.m. anyway this Daylight Saving Time shit can be a major pain in the ass.

Maybe someday the world will wise up.

But I’m not counting on it.

Besides, if they ever did there wouldn’t be a need for me anymore: The Spamrider of the Apocalypse.

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Spamrider of the Apocalypse is just some crazy dude who contacted us out of the blue one day claiming to be a time traveler who had discovered that he had already been publishing information on our website for years while he was visiting the future.  Neither me or Steve had ever heard of him before so we don’t know if he’s ACTUALLY crazy or what, but he’s definitely weird, and is probably full of crap, so we both just looked at each other, shrugged are shoulders, and pretty much just went with it.

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