Ask The Spamrider

So Bob has brought out the whip again and threatened to give me 39 lashes if I didn’t go through the dozen or so bags of fan mail that have been piling up and pick out some letters to write another Ask The Spamrider column.  I asked him why he wouldn’t just give me 40 lashes and he said that would just be cruel.  So I guess in a way he does have his own little conscience.  Anyway, I’ve had enough of Bob’s lashings so here my friends is another edition of

Ask The Spamrider

Dear Spamrider,

In the Laurel and Hardy and Three Stooges Universe you said there were actually six stooges. Did you ever see all six at the same time, or how did that work exactly?

-Just Curious

Dear Just,

First of all I’d like to say this is actually a great question for once.  Thank you for asking!

So in the Laurel and Hardy and Three Stooges Universe you never saw a Laurel without a Hardy.  You might see multiple pairs of Laurels and Hardies at once, but they always travelled in pairs.

Likewise with The Three Stooges.  They always travelled in sets of three.  And there was always a Larry and a Moe.  So it was only the third Stooge in each set that varied.  And that stooge could be a Curly, a Curly Joe or a Joe Besser.

Now when multiple sets of Stooges came together that’s when things got interesting.  So to answer your question, yes, I did see them all six at a time.  And I can tell you that yes, it was just as stupid as you’re probably imagining it was.

-Spamrider

Dear Spamrider,

How come sometimes you use the British English spelling of words, and sometimes you use the American English?

-Some Bloke

Dear Bloke,

Maybe it’s because there is more than one of me and it isn’t always my version of me that is doing the writing.

Or maybe I’m trying to be cosmopolitan.

Or maybe it’s part of a secret code meant for past or future versions of myself.

Or maybe I just like confusing people.

Also, the only reason those spellings are any different in the first place is because when he wrote the dictionary Daniel Webster REALLY wanted to stick it to the Brits.

-Spamrider

Dear Spamrider,

Why don’t you ever bring me flowers any more?

-Windy

Dear Windy,

I cannot answer that because I haven’t even started bringing you flowers yet.

-Spamrider


THE SONG IN BOB’S HEAD


BONUS SONG IN BOB’S HEAD (JUST TO MAKE UP FOR THAT LAST ONE)


Spamrider of the Apocalypse is posted each Sunday.
Visit the column homepage.

Spamrider

Spamrider of the Apocalypse is just some crazy dude who contacted us out of the blue one day claiming to be a time traveler who had discovered that he had already been publishing information on our website for years while he was visiting the future.  Neither me or Steve had ever heard of him before so we don’t know if he’s ACTUALLY crazy or what, but he’s definitely weird, and is probably full of crap, so we both just looked at each other, shrugged are shoulders, and pretty much just went with it.

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