Yvonne Helps through the Busy Holidays!

I am a little bit tired receiving letters from people asking to help out with their pathetic love lives, so I’m going to take a break from helping the less fortunate. Besides, this time of the year is a very bad time to be alone and those that are are pathetic and beyond my help at this time.

Since it’s the holiday season and I feel quite festive, I am going to answer a holiday themed letter I received. Maybe it will warm the hearts of those that have nothing better to do than visit websites like this one. And then again, maybe it won’t.

No matter to me, I do what I want since it’s my column. I know that’s what you love about me! Here’s a letter I received from an 8 year old whose name is Billy!

How come I never get what I want for Christmas? I write Santa letters but always get stuff that I don’t like. I don’t like that.

Well Billy, it could be because Santa isn’t real and every letter you send is thrown away by some drunk in a tiny cubicle in the back of your local post office, or maybe it’s because your parents don’t like you.

Just do what I did when I was young. Accept every present you get and pretend you like it. Soon your parents will feel that you really love them. Then, when your older, you can turn around and sue them for everything they own since they screwed up your life by getting you crappy presents. This will hold up in any court of law plus you’ll get to be on television.

You like television, don’t you Billy? Imagine telling all the other kids at school that you’re going to be on tv! You’ll be popular and that’s really all that matters in life.

There you go. I handled another person’s problem and now I can finally get some rest and relaxation!

NEXT WEEK: What’s the Deal!

More Chick Shit for Chic Chicks!

A new Chick Shit column every Wednesday!

Yvonne

Yvonne reached out to us unexpectedly, and her email was so entertaining that we offered her the Chick Shit column after Melissa departed. Please note that her opinions do not reflect those of the staff or management of Weirdcrap.com, nor do they represent any other person on this planet. Nevertheless, we hope you enjoy her work!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.