Week 2 without Melissa and everything’s fine in the world.
After reading millions of guest commentaries for the “Chick Shit” column, we came across this submission from Jeff. Where Jeff is from we have no idea, but I had a brother named Jeff and he used to beat the shit out of me every chance he got until I got wired on alcohol and cocaine one day after school and started pounding the shit out of him.
But before I could go for the kill, good ole mom came outside and broke up the fight and then banished me to my bedroom for a week. No wonder I have fucking issues.
Anyways, here’s the guest commentary:
I woke up late for class because i was struggling with nightmares and i couldnt wake up. Anyway i woke up finally and medicine that i have been taking makes my piss turn a really bright orange color and if it gets on the floor, there is just no getting it back up. so i woke up and realized that i was out of soft drinks and soup. so i went to the local convenience store and picked up these items. i came home and gorged myself on dr. peppers and a huge can of vegetable soup. so i was eating the soup with crackers because all of my silver ware was unavailable. i was eating so fast because i was starving. and it hit me, that medicine causes me to have really loose orange stool as well, and i started to percolate. but i was still really hungry and thirsty so i kept eating and drinking but i began to evacuate orange matter. i only made it to the bath tub and after a while it looked like i was bathing in jello. and then i decided it was best to go back to bed.
jeff
And there you have it. No mention of breasts or trailer parks. Who needs Melissa?
And, if you didn’t like this weeks guest commentary why don’t you sit your ass down and try and do better than Jeff?
NEXT WEEK: All this could be yours!?
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