The Guerrilla Pissers

And Buddha said unto the Lord, “You must un-learn what you have learned.”

The Lord was looking upon the Buddha, who pissing on the floor in front of the litter box, “but we’re supposed to pee IN the box.”

The Lord looked about the room for the punishment that would certainly befall the Buddha, but it did not come.

Buddha, moving to defecate position, “we are dogs, which means we pee and poop where we will, no one has the right to control us.”

And then the Buddha pooped on the floor, near the litter box but not in it.

Saint Garion arrived home to find a puddle of piss in front of the dog’s litter box. He searched the house and brought the dogs together and asked, “Who did this?” The Buddha appeared to be the guilty one so he was punished, and Saint Garion believing the matter closed, continued on with his day.

Later as the Saint was cleaning the kitchen, a small demon crawled out from the trash closet and told him that he should check the hall. Saint Garion acted quickly and squished the demon with his shoe. In the hall he found the Lord, taking a leak, just in front of the litter box. And the Buddha was cheering him on, “that will show him, no mere saint is going to tell us what to do!”

And Saint Garion became enraged, and erected a great metal cage and placed it in the living room, and the dogs called the Lord and the Buddha became afraid.

And Saint Garion said unto the dogs, “You may be the divine, but I write the books, and everything I write is infallible.” Saint Garion wrote the following upon a paper pad:

…Then the Lord and the Buddha were in despair and were cast into the cage, where there would be much whining and gnashing of teeth. This is where they would remain until they both learned to use the litter box.

“God the father will stop you.” Said the Lord in a very defiant tone.

Saint Garion thought on this and continued… And God looked upon the cage and saw that it was good.

Saint Garion

Bel Garion, who also goes by the name Saint Garion started writing columns in our early years and continued to 2006. He often refers to "The Lord" and "Buddah" which are the names of his dogs which speak to him on a regular basis.

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