Note from the Editor: Sorry, nothing from Hooty! She couldn’t write this weeks column. We don’t really know why.
All we got is an email that said, “Sorry guys, I can’t do it this week. I just can’t.”
We really don’t know what’s going on…we hope it’s just a temporary thing! In lieu of that, here’s something from the Chick Shit archives!
We Need More Money!
by Melissa Paternik
I was going to offer some more tips today, but I haven’t learned any new ones. Sorry if you were expecting that, but my life is kind of a mess right now and I can’t cater to everyone.
Since money is very tight right now, Ralph told me that I had better get another job. He was supposed to be out of jail next week but since he got in a fight with a prisoner who wanted sexual favors, his release date has been pushed back.
We debated on what I could actually do to make more money. I am currently a go-go dancer, but it is not paying like we thought it would.
We finally decided that I could make good money providing phone sex. Ralph says guys like stuff like that and he claims he tried it once just to see what it was like.
I dipped into our meager savings and got an 800 number. I placed an advertisement in the trailer park newsletter and also posted the number on various telephone poles around the town. It took a few days, but I finally got the first call when I was sitting in the outhouse taking a big dump! Boy was I embarrassed!! I had to run back to the trailer to answer the phone and, luckily, the caller was still there.
He asked me to do certain stuff and I did and then he was gone. I felt it went pretty smoothly for the first time.
The next few days I received about 10 calls and it got easier and easier for me as time went on. I also went out and got an extra phone for the outhouse so I could be available at any time.
I told Ralph how it was going and he said we would be getting lots of money from the phone sex really soon. I can’t wait for that!!!
NEXT WEEK: Water retention remedies!!
More Chick Shit for Chic Chicks!
A new Chick Shit column every Wednesday!
