Roger Hambone despite his last name never learned to hambone.
He was hamboneless.
But he could eef like nobody’s business.
People used to say his name should have been Roger Eef.
They called him “Eefin’ Roger Hambone”.
When he would eef it sounded like this:
Ah ee, ah oh, ah ee, ah oh, [hic], ee, ah oh, [hic], ee, ah oh, [hic]
And so on.
Roger couldn’t attend a single social gathering without being asked to eef for everybody.
He even eefed at funerals.
The women found Roger charming but much too unsophisticated for any of them to take seriously.
Which was fine, because Roger was a flaming homosexual.
It turns out most eefers are homosexuals.
Go figure.
Also, ironically enough, most hamboners are heterosexuals.
Go figure.
But the people in Roger’s day and age didn’t discriminate whether you were an eefer or a hamboner so everything was cool.
One day Roger was eefin’ for everybody at a summer barbeque where one of the guest’s brother-in-law from Los Angelos happened to be attending.
“Who is that guy???” he asked his wife’s sister’s husband. The party guest, who incidentally had neglected to ask the hostess whether he could also bring along his brother-in-law answered, “That’s Eefin’ Roger Hambone. He’s all the time eefin’ at parties. They say his name should have been ‘Roger Eef’.”
“And so it shall! You HAVE to introduce me to him. I’m going to make him famous.”
But alas it was never meant to be because when the hostess of the party found out that there was an uninvited guest attending she became frantic because she had only instructed the caterers to prepare for 47 guests and now there were 48!!! She made a big scene in front of all the guests and her husband who even though he was embarrassed nonetheless played his part and threw both the brothers-in-law out of the party. So Roger never got his big break.
THE END
