The Journey To HR, Part 90!

“Oh, man,” I said while looking in the envelope.

“Is there a problem?” asked the HR lady.

“Well, yes. Yes there is!” I said, and tossed the envelope onto her desk.

She looked at the envelope.

Then she looked at me.

”Well?” she asked.

“It’s my gum! It’s stuck to the paper. It’s UNUSABLE!” I replied in quite the agitated way.

She looked at the envelope again.

Then she looked at me again.

I was about to speak but she put a forefinger to her lips and that shut me up.

“It’s no longer YOUR gum. It’s on MY desk. Therefore, it’s MY gum!” she said, and then smiled coyly.

I thought that over and, after a few minutes, my mind also agreed.

“Yes! I agree,” I said after my mind finished its thinking.

“Great!” she said. “Great that we wasted all that time over absolutely nothing. Hopefully this isn’t going to be documented somewhere. Can’t imagine how thrilled those two to three people that will read something like this and finish wondering why they wasted so much time over something so stupid. Would you like something to drink?”

“A Tab!” I answered.

She pulled a can of Tab from one of the desk drawers and handed it over.

I opened the can and drank it down.

Head rush!

I fell to the floor.

After the spasms were over and done, I sat back in the chair.

“Where were we?” I asked, wiping that delicious Tab foam from my lips.

“Chickens? Stupid dirty bastards? You?” she responded.

“HOW DARE YOU!” I screamed and leapt from the chair, ready to throttle that HR lady neck.

She pulled back, just in time.

“Bob!” she said.

I crashed onto her desk.

“Yep, that’s right,” I said as I rolled off the desk.

“Let’s get to work,” she said as I found my way back to the chair.

And so we did.