The Journey To HR, Part 71!



Instead, she hit me over the head with the empty bottle.

“OW!” I whelped. “Now what?”

“Now we wait,” she said, walking by me and then throwing herself in a patch of pachysandra across from the house with the open garage.

She hid really well.

I then heard a voice.

“Hide behind that sapling!” it commanded.

I was suddenly scared.

“W-who is t-t-t-t-t-hat?” I asked in a very scared voice.

The HR lady stood up from her hiding place.

“Me, you moronic dolt!” she yelled.

She threw herself back into the patch of pachysandra as I stared in wonder.

“NOW!” someone yelled.

“W-who is t-t-t-t-t-hat?” I asked in a very, very scared voice.

The HR lady stood up from her hiding place again.

“Me, you cyclonic idiot!” she screamed.

She threw herself back into the patch of pachysandra again as I stared in wonderment and awe.

Then I figured it out.

I ran across the street and hid behind the sapling.

The front door of the house now across the street opened and the couple appeared.

The tiny man and the woman ran across the grass, got into their car and sped away.

The HR lady rose from the pachysandra and shook her hands towards the sky in fury.

“THWARTED!” she bellowed.

I remained in my hiding place as she ran across the street, took a book of matches from a pocket and lit a match.

She flung the lit match towards the driveway and it caught on fire.
“See?” she said. “It’s the good stuff!”

Seconds later, the house imploded.

“Yep,” she said. “The REALLY good stuff.”

She pocketed the rest of the matches and walked away.

I waited a few minutes.

She was gone.

I trembled.

“What about me?” I asked no one.

I decided to remain hidden.

More Lunatic Ravings…

Read a new Lunatic Ravings every Saturday!

Stephen Johnson

The idea of building a website with Bob came from Stephen in the days of message boards and chat rooms. We settled on the name TheWeirdcrap.com and the rest is history. Retired since he hit the ripe age of 25, he spends most his time doing odd-jobs around the house and digging thru trash bins for "stuff that's still good." Stephen has contributed several short stories and hosted the "Lunatic Ravings" column since the beginning (1999). The idea of writing weekly columns came from Stephen before blogs or blog sites ever existed. So, I guess that makes him THE FIRST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD!!!

https://theweirdcrap.com

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