My favorite thing to have on a bologna sandwich is salted fresh tomato slices. I’m talking summertime picked from your garden fresh tomato slices. If those are unavailable my second favorite thing to have on a bologna sandwich is potato chips. Mustard is also ok sometimes. Never ketchup though.
My favorite things to have on a tenderloin are dill pickles and mustard.
As far as hamburgers go I’ll take most anything except mayonnaise. But lettuce, onions, ketchup, mustard, pickles, cheese; all the rest is ok. Same with hot dogs—ketchup, mustard, onions, coney sauce; it’s all fine with me. But no relish please. If they didn’t make relish out of sweet pickles I might like it. But I don’t like sweet pickles. So no sweet pickles and no mayonnaise. Except sometimes I’ll things eat with mayonnaise in them. Like ranch dressing. Or potato salad. Or cake. But as far as eating mayonnaise straight up or on a sandwich, no fucking way. I call it The Devil’s Mansauce.
All of this has nothing whatsoever to do with anything of course. I was just eating a bologna and potato chip sandwich and got to typing.
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