I know I said that I was going to write about Grapes this week but I have these dreams I’d like to share. So I changed my mind. I am a female, and to quote that famous wife beater/dope s
moker Bobby Brown “…its my prerogative!”
I wanted to start a new career and I thought, “What would be better than being a Hooker.” Now I wasn’t going to be a street corner hooker, I wanted to be the upscale kind, besides I look like crap in Satin Pants. And just so you know, EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE CRAP IN SATIN PANTS! But I digress:
I was getting sick of traffic, bosses and the hassle of getting out of bed in the morning, and the craptacular things that come along with being a law-abiding citizen.
The way I see it, when you’re a hooker you have the best of everything; sex everyday, a different “boyfriend” every few hours, that leave you money and don’t expect you to cook, do his wash or act normal in front of his family. Not to mention that you can make your own hours, there is virtually no overhead (condoms, maybe. But you can by them at the Dollar Store) and BONUS: you can go to any convention you want without a ticket.
All that’s needed is you, and some guy that is willing to pay for sex. Lets be honest, I have seen some UGLY men that I am guessing would pay a small fortune for some human contact.
For one brief shining moment in time…I saw a way out!
A new and improved life!
I could almost picture it; no more box-a-wine, I would be able to buy wine with a screw top. I could stop mooching off my friends. I could put my ungrateful children in college, far, far, away from me like they requested. I could be an upstanding individual.
Unfortunately for me this will never happen and do you know why?
Do you?
Because women all over the place are giving it away for FREE! Its unbelievable, I have to keep working because these tramps all over are giving away MY product. Is it possible to sue someone for this? These sluts are even giving it away to the UGLY guys (you know who you are). What kind of quality control can this “giving it away for free” thing have?
Have you ever heard the term “ you get what you pay for”?
So now, here I sit preparing to battle the stinking Psycho’s on I-95, pretending to work on something I could give a shit about, and fantasizing about the life that could have been.
Thanks a lot you commie sluts!
COMING NEXT: No Gnus is good Gnus!
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