Before we get into Donnie…I know that its been some time since I have written, but I have been having some trouble at work – the trouble is that they make me work.
Here is some Hooty Mail to keep you entertained. Please be warned the following is very disturbing and may cause extreme anxiety and uncontrollable vomiting. Especially if you didn’t know Bon Jovi was a Kebler Elf, or that Pete is Cleopatra Queen of “Denial”:
Hooty,
I am writing this after reading your most recent article about the cat, the car, the fat man and the mean paramedic. In your expose you mentioned that you are/may be a messenger of God. I believe you are. While reading your column, I had an epiphany of sorts and in light of the recent attacks by Trump on the citizens of the West Coast. Long ago I believe God touched me, and now, through you, gave me the following message to convey:
We are all God’s children and I believe that all people of all religions be they Christian, Muslim, Hindu or Mexican should come together and worship the God or Phallic symbol or their choosing. We are all brothers and sisters on this planet and we should all go the park and fly kites and play with little innocent bunnies. We should all be running through the beautiful meadows nude, except for fig leafs over our most intimate parts. I of course will have the largest of fig leafs. Perhaps Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha could play badminton or Chinese jump rope while we all cheer them on in all their glory.
Also, please tell Carol that Jon BonJovi is 5′ 3″ tall in real life.
Regards,
Donnie
Dear Donnie
Buddy, that wasn’t God that touched you long ago, it was probably Father O’Brian.
Hooty
COMING NEXT: Nothing from me!
Sorry to spring this on you so suddenly, but this is my last column. 🙁
I am to busy to write a column for free each week, as I am now pursuing a new career at the Truck Stop off I-95!
And no, it’s not what you think!
Chick Shit for Chic Chicks has been temporarily suspended!
We currently don’t have a writer to take over this column…If you know of a creative person who would like to keep the flame burning and won’t mind working for free, drop us an email and pitch an idea or two! Get a hold of us on the CONTACT page.
